Zootopia Monkey Paws
by MiwAuturu
Summary: Wasn't making progress with my other story, so I decided to do some 5 minute prompt ideas off a certain imageboard, which I would then take and turn into something entirely unexpected. Someone used the term "Monkey Paw" to describe it, and I liked it, so I stole it. Rated T for some language, and implied sexiness.
1. Peter Moosefuckup

Prompt: _the predator assault newscast takes a nasty turn when snow leopard's co-anchor lets an unnecessary comment slip._

(No offence meant to Peter Mansbridge with this story)

* * *

"Good evening, Zootopia. I'm Peter Moosebridge"

"And I'm Annalise Winters. Our top story tonight, attack in Tundra Town. A snow leopard went savage earlier today in the heart of Tundra Town. One Lemming is dead, and a snowshoe hare is in critical condition. This is the third attack since the press conference at ZPD headquarters only a week ago. The ZPD has not yet responded to our request for further comment on these incidents."

"Snow leopard going savage? Lord knows you went savage on me last night Annalise."

A pause followed, it was only a few seconds, but in airtime it felt like forever, before Annalise cleared her throat and murmured quietly "Uhh… Peter? Your mic is still live."

Another brief second followed before a quick cut over to the weather.


	2. Basest Drives

Prompt: _Judy and Nick convince Finnick to help out on their investigation by appealing to his basest drives._

* * *

"Come on, for old time's sake, Finnick. Help us out here."

"Fuck you Nick. I told you when you left: I ain't working with you so long as you're with the fuzz."

Nick groaned as he heard Judy's foot impatiently tapping behind him. Finnick was the only witness they had right now, and he had sworn up and down that he would be able to get the little fox to talk.

"How about this, we'll take you on as an informant. The department has some money put aside for paying informants for good information, I'm sure we can-"

"Goddamit Nick, I said no! I ain't being no goddamned snitch! I've been getting along just fine on money without you."

"Is there nothing I can offer you to make you work with us here?"

Finnick tilted his head to the side, looking past Nick "Well, there might just be one thing now that you mention it?"

"Alright, no. No way, hell no. That is a line that isn't going to be crossed."

Judy finally threw up her hands "Someone is dead, Nick. He's our only witness; let's just give him what he wants."

"Hey, you heard the bunny, just give me what I want."

[…]

"This is humiliating, Nick."

"I'm not the one who said 'Just give him what he wants.' now was I?"

Nick and Judy were sitting uncomfortable close to each other in an elephant-sized stroller. Both of them wearing child onesies, right in public while Finnick laughed nearby.

"It's your turn to be the babies now!"


	3. Bad Wakeup

Prompt: _Nick wakes up at a spot he never wanted to wake up at and his clothes are gone_

* * *

Nick scrunched his eyes shut as he woke up, feeling the throbbing in his head. He couldn't remember anything about the night previous, but judging how he felt now he thought he had a pretty good idea of how it had gone down. He tried reaching over to rub his temples, only to not have any reaction. Tugging a few more times he realized that he hands were spread apart and bound to something behind him.

"Oh, that can't be good." He murmured as he slowly cracked an eye open. The room was dark, and spinning at first, but his eyes quickly adjusted to the small amounts of light filtering in through cracks in the roof. He saw his own body first, realizing that he had been stripped down to nothing. Slowly he looked up, and what he saw surprised him.

"Oh, it looks like our prisoner is awake."

"Wonderful. I was worried we had hit him a little too hard. That would have gotten us into a lot of trouble."

"I told you we should have just drugged him."

"Shut up, no you didn't."

A myriad of voiced came from all around him, making him wince in pain "Look, what is this all about?"

"Well that's easy, Nick."

"You have something that we want."

"And we're going to take it from you, whether you want us to or not."

"I wonder how long until you're screaming for us to stop?"

Nick could do nothing as dozens of Judy's sisters descended upon his bound form.


	4. Fucking Gideon

Promts: _Nick and Gideon end up fucking_ and also _Gideon Baked too many pies_

* * *

Gideon was mighty happy with himself. It had taken him most of the night, but he had managed to bake all 50 pies for the special order, now he just had to deliver them. It was a little beyond where he would normally deliver, right on the outer edge of the tri-burrows, but for an order this big he was willing to make an exception.

He stopped at the house, looking up at it. It was a big place, mansion with a lot of land. You saw them here and there in the burrows, some rich fellow from the city who decided he wanted a little getaway, although it was rarely actually little. Gideon let himself through the open gate, heading up to knock at the door. After a few moments of hearing no response, Gideon knocked again a little harder. Hard enough to make the door slide open apparently, showing off an empty hallway.

"Ex-excuse me? Sir? It's, it's Gideon Gray. Of Gideon Gray's Good Baked Stuff? I've, I've got you- your pies here, sir?"

He stepped inside, being careful not to drop the pies he already had in hand. "H-hello?" Something felt very odd about the situation. He took a few steps inwards "Is… is anyone home?"

A sound to his left drew his attention, his face dropping as first he saw blood, then dead bodies, then finally walking around the corner, another fox, this one wearing a face mask and holding a great big knife. Gideon threw the pies down and took off running.

As soon as Gideon was gone, Nick took of the mask and started laughing. Hard, then walking over to turn off the camera.

"Nick!" Judy called, "Why is there a video of you scaring Gideon Grey on your computer?"

"Oh yeah, that. I guess I just figured out that Gideon is pretty easy to fuck with."


End file.
